Facebook, You've Brought Me the Truth

So, I'm hanging out on Facebook a few minutes ago, and an ad on the side of my profile catches my eye. Don't even worry, I've copied the text for you:

"The Circus starring Britney Spears is coming to [venue] on [date]."

What!?! You mean to tell me that Britney has finally realized what a sideshow freak her tabloid-loving life has been since the Madonna kiss at the MTV VMA's in 2003? Now, like any other child raised in the '90's, I love my pop music, and I'm used to some of my fave pop stars doing weird things. For example, Lance Bass wanting to go to outer space, but being too broke to do so. So I understand that the Madonna kiss thing was pooh-poohed by some people. OK so let's ignore that. Fast forward to K.Fed. As E! News has made me well aware (not to mention every tabloid magazine at the checkout stand at the grocery store), this was truly the beginning of the end. Let's recap the Britster's downfall:

Nov. 8, 2006 - Brit and K.Fed finally begin the divorce we all saw coming.
Nov. 9, 2006 - Let the custody battle for the two children begin!
Feb. 19, 2007 - Britney: "Hey I have a good idea! I'll shave my head!"
Feb. 21, 2007 - Finally, she is sent to rehab.
Feb. 22, 2007 - Just kidding! She's loose again!
May 30, 2007 - She blogs about how she's hit rock bottom. Wow, Brit, you figured that out quickly!
July 6, 2007 - Anyone remember the umbrella she used as a weapon against an innocent SUV?
July 31, 2007 - Finally, the divorce is finalized. K.Fed, you are free!
Sept. 10, 2007 - Brit attempts a comeback at the MTV VMA's. Attempts is a good way to describe that one...
Sept. 18, 2007 - Brit is fired by her own management company. Ouch!
Sept. 19, 2007 - The court orders her to take drug tests, thinking that maybe she's high all the time.
Sept. 22, 2007 - Brit is charged for hitting a parked car and driving without a license.
Oct. 2, 2007 - K.Fed wins custody. Never thought I'd be glad to see that one happen.
Oct. 26, 2007 - Sept. 22 charges are dropped. I guess they were sick of her being at the courthouse and gave her a break.
Jan. 3, 2008 - Brit is extracated from her house on a stretcher, taken to the hospital, and put under psychic evaluation after trying to hold her own children hostage in a bathroom.
Jan 5, 2008 - The courts ban Brit from seeing her kids, probably because she's crazy.
Feb. 1, 2008 - The courts rule that Brit's dad is now in charge of her and all her money.
Feb. 7, 2008 - The family publicly announces they are scared for Brit's life.

I'll stop here. Note, this timeline doesn't cover her failed album, crazy sheep sounds at paparazzi, non-panty wearing pictures, giving her kids cigs, or her magical renormalization.

Don't get me wrong. I understand that Hollywood is a witch. Many a celeb has had mental problems due to the strain of being famous. But Brit takes the cake. It's like she read the manual on how to be normal and took it for reverse psychology. Do I love her first album? Yes. Would I sing along with "Baby, One More Time" if I heard it on the radio today? You betcha. Do I think she's normal? No. Do I think it's eerily ironic that her new album and EP are titled "Circus"? Um... just a little. So the fact that her tour is called by the same name just amazes me.

So now let's look back at that ad: "The Circus starring Britney Spears is coming to [venue] on [date]." Wow! Wooooow! WOOOOOOW! It'll be the Circus, alright.