How Long

1,204 days. That's how long it's been since I posted here. Why? I just... stopped. I started posting more on social media (Facebook and Instagram) and have been using that as my medium to record things. But strange times call for a rethink of lots of things, and I think it's time to write more fully about my life and goings on, so here we go.

In the last 3 1/2 years, we've done a few things. Like had another kid. Evaline Rose Valentine was born in February 2018. I freaking love that girl. She is the best pal, the biggest sweetheart, and such a wonderful addition to our home. 

Deg switched jobs twice. The second time was back to his old company but in a new roll. And in November 2019, he started working from home, so that's been really cool.

DJ is almost done with first grade. Somehow. He's growing up so fast. He loves to talk still (all day) and is enjoying karate and jiu jitsu lessons.

But if you follow any of my social media, you know all of this.

What I'm going to write about now is stuff I haven't posted there. And yes, given the date and the current happenings, it's gonna be related to the COVID-19 crisis going down right now.

First of all, COVID can sit on a cactus. This sucks. I don't personally know anyone who has had it, but it seems like it varies so much, that who knows? Maybe I've had it. I feel really terribly for those who are dealing with the "bad" version of it. It blows. But on a more personal note, it also blows. Everything is shut down and quarantined. Restaurants are take out only, stores are closed, doctors offices are kind of emergency only, grocery stores are out of toilet paper, rice, beans, cleaning products, sugar, flour, and everyone is wearing masks and staying at least 6 feet away from each other. Everyone who can is working from home. Lots of people aren't working at all. 

School is a mess - the local district has been out for three weeks and is just now trying to get some kind of distance learning together. DJ's school is amazing and has been doing it since week 1. But we're gonna be doing this till at least April 30. I will be shocked if they can go back this year at all. And that's hard. DJ misses playing with his friends, seeing his teachers, his normal routine. Because of quarantine, he can't even see his friends in person. We did a FaceTime play date today, which was honestly amazing, but I feel so bad that that's it. He's struggling a little bit with anger, and I know it's because anger is a secondary emotion and he's just sad. He's sad because he's grieving his life. And I don't blame him.

My anxiety is having a hard time, but in waves. Some days, I'm fine. Some days, I'm exhausted (a sign of anxiety). Like today, I took a 2 1/2 hour nap after dinner because I just couldn't function anymore. I'm grieving my life too. I want to be with my friends, to go out and do stuff, and to be alone without kids at all. 

Plus, and this part freaking sucks, things are not going great with Deg's company. They have laid off as many people as they can, which luckily didn't include him, but they've cut everyone else to half salary. That's a huge cut. And we're worried about what that means for our family. We don't really know yet, because time will tell. But please no one break a bone or need any kind of medical care! It's only temporary, but who knows how long they're gonna have to cut things because of this effing COVID crisis? It has me so stressed and worried. I know it does with Deg too. He has started looking for other jobs, because who wouldn't, but he likes his job, so it's hard. Plus, and more importantly, he worries about how he's going to provide for us. It all just sucks.

There are positives. We have a lot of time together, and we play more games, go on bike rides, go on walks, go on hikes... that stuff is fun. We have more time in general, so stuff we wouldn't have time for otherwise gets done, like just sitting in the driveway and letting the kids run wild. We check in on neighbors and friends more often and more meaningfully. I've been doorbell ditched a lot by neighbors and friends with treats, notes, and even items from the store so I don't have to go get them. My neighborhood has reached out to each other online, with people offering to run errands for each other or to help supply items that can't be found right now. It's been a time of practicing self compassion, which I am horrible at, and which I am so glad to be able to practice. I have worked out every day, which I'm bad at because when I focus on it from a weight loss perspective, I'm focused on the external and that's dumb. Now I do it for the internal - I need the endorphins, and I need the stress relief it brings, and it's something I can control right now. We've had time to be creative. The kids have had more time together to just play and enjoy their friendship. I've been able to really strengthen some of my friendships in ways that are going to be really important to me. So those things are really good.

But also, it's ok that it's not all good. And that things are hard and not normal and that I want my life back. Well, most of it. I want my life, but with more of this free time with my family. I know it'll be over eventually, and that's really really good, but I also think it's important to honor the stretching and growing and uncomfortable nature of life right now. 

Thanksgiving, as told by captioned pictures.

The night before Thanksgiving, my parents and brother drove into town. My dad bought tickets to an exhibition tournament that BYU's basketball team was playing in. As you can see, it was super well attended. But we had a blast!

The morning of Thanksgiving was a big day for me. I'd been training for 9 weeks to run a 5k. I hadn't run in like two years because my plantar fasciitis was so bad. It wasn't my best time, but it was pretty dang close, and considering where I started, I'm dang proud. Plus, my feet feel great, so that's awesome.

DJ ate corn, a roll, and drank his sparkling cider. So pretty much a full meal for him. Thanksgiving, man - eat more! Eat it all!

My family is really big into playing Monopoly Deal. Apparently, DJ needed to play it naked? I mean, why not?

 

We took everyone to the pinball hall of fame. It sounds a little lame, but it is so much fun. Plus, we entertained all 6 of us for an hour on $20. And everyone did have a good time, despite some attitudes to the contrary at the beginning.

DJ and Grandpa battling it out at a basketball game.

This is one of those machines that flips through a bunch of pictures to show a little movie.

Danny got over his attitude. But really, there's like 15 rows of pinball machines just like this.

Jet came with Grandma and Grandpa. And DJ was in heaven! 

My mom got tickets for her, Danny, and me to see Celine. It was AMAZING. Like, go see it if you have the chance. She is incredible. (Deg and my dad didn't want to go, so they hung with DJ)

Celine! We were so pumped!

She was beautiful and sounded more amazing in real life than on any recording.

#truth

DJ and Grandpa are best buddies. I love their special relationship.

These two besties had so much fun, but were tired by the time everyone left!

Halloween

Have you been impatiently awaiting my blog post about Halloween? Of course you have. Lucky you, here it is!

Of course, we went as Egyptians. DJ's love of all things Egypt continues. All he wanted to be was an Egyptian, and since I'd made that costume for his birthday, I was already done with one. Donesie! And Deg wanted to be a mummy if we were being Egyptians, because he wanted to be creepy. He nailed it, by the way. I had to tell him more than once to stop scaring small children. I ended up doing a sort of Cleopatra thing, though I really considered going as a pyramid because that would've been funny.

This is the best pic of all of us I got. DJ was so proud of his whole Egyptian family.

Oh and we also won the best overall costume award at the trunk or treat. I live for this kind of stuff.

 On Halloween, DJ's preschool had a Halloween party. It was mostly learning about Halloween and playing Halloween games while moms got to hang out and talk. His teacher was so cute to do this for the kids.

Story time!

Egypt party always means mummy wrapping with toilet paper. DJ was, as expected, thrilled. This is his jam!

 We then met Deg for lunch. I was planning on taking DJ to the aquarium because they have trick or treating there every year, but apparently not on Halloween (weirdos). So a quick Google search landed us at a nearby rec center, where they were having a toddlers only Halloween party.

Bounce house!

They had a photo booth there, and since DJ didn't dress up alone, I got to participate.

This ball pit was fun until I saw a kid puke in it. That was our cue to go home.

 That night, we had dinner with DJ's best friend Oakley's family. (DJ calls her his wife - apparently they've gotten married somewhere along the way. Whatever - they're adorable and tiny and only sometimes fight, so I say go for it, bro!) We then took the kids trick or treating around Oakley's neighborhood (which is right behind our own).

Besties!

A more accurate picture of these two sillies.

So there you go! Mostly you just wanted to see what madness I'd come up with for costumes. Well, now you've seen it. You're welcome. Happy haunting!

Gilcrease Orchard

It's no secret that we live in the friggin desert. We've been here for exactly 3 years, and it isn't getting any wetter or cooler. However, that doesn't mean that there aren't pockets of really awesome non-desert things if you know where to look for them. One of these places is Gilcrease Orchard. I know what you're thinking - how can an orchard survive in Vegas? Well, I don't have the answer to that. I'm no botanist! I am, however, the mom of a kid who genuinely loves to be in a garden. Every time we talk about Grandpa Hall's house or go to Grandpa Hall's house or see a picture of Grandpa Hall, DJ starts babbling about Grandpa's garden. So I figured I'd take my little farmer out to the orchard to go apple picking. We went last year, but went late in October on an incredibly crowded Saturday when all the apples were picked over. So we went on a Tuesday morning at the beginning of picking season and we hit apple pay-dirt!

There were so many apples that he could crouch down and pick those green orbs with hardly any effort.

Look how happy he is to be on the farm!

He was pretty pumped about the pumpkins, too. Especially because they had some green ones.

I love being his mom. He is so funny!

While having a blast, he refused to reward me with any good smiles - only goofy faces or not paying attention ones.

They have cider donuts there. We maybe ate more than I will admit in print.

Apple cider made from honeycrisp apples is the actual shiz.

 

We also went to visit the chickens. They have a bunch of different varieties, and the lady tending them took some time to show DJ the different colors and shapes their eggs come in. He made me stay there and watch those chickens for like 15 minutes.

Hip Hop Heroes

I signed DJ up for a class at one of the local rec centers. One of my friends let me know she was putting her son in the class, and after she told me what it was, there wasn't a choice - we were doing this class! I mean, it's a class for 3-4 year olds called Hip Hop Heroes. How could I not sign him up for that? Tell me that doesn't sound stupid adorable and hilarious all at the same time. And it is. Oh it is! The important thing is that DJ loves it. He loves to dance anyway but he LOVES this class. And I just can't describe how great it is, so I'll probably just show you.

Work it, kiddies!

The glass between me and the class means there's no sound from the class, but... oh my heck, they are cute and adorable.

And hilarious. Did I mention it's hilarious?

First Day of Preschool!

My cute little kidlet started preschool yesterday. And yeah, he's 3 and will do preschool for two years, but I'm okay with that. It's kind of funny how it all happened, actually. I have a friend from home who moved here and happens to do an in-home preschool. She's in a bunko group with me and mentioned at the last game night that she had an open spot in her preschool. I had just been thinking that, even though he's little, I wished that I'd looked for one for him because I think he'd love it. Destiny? Probably not, but still. So we chatted about it and told Deg about it and decided to go for it.

I took DJ for a visit with his teacher a week before school started, and the next week was the longest of his life. He couldn't wait to actually start school! The day before dragged for him. "Mom, is it tomorrow day yet? Is it time for school yet?" I was glad he was so excited. I was mostly excited, but my mom heart was bursting a little because STOP GROWING UP! But also, keep growing up. It's complicated. If you're a mom, you feel me. Anyway, he had packed and repacked his backpack about a thousand times in preparation for school. He made me get him a special notebook and pencil for his backpack. We got him a water bottle that wouldn't spill in his backpack. It was getting real.

And then, it was the day of. I woke him up and told him it was preschool day, and he practically leaped from the bed. For the first time ever, he didn't fight me on combing hair or brushing teeth. He did a little bit on getting dressed, but only because I'd picked out a shirt he didn't want, so once we got that sorted, he was good to go. And then he actually willingly ate breakfast. You guys! It was, dare I say, miraculous! But then we had to wait like an hour before school started. So we packed and repacked the backpack and took first day pictures and otherwise tried to kill time so he wouldn't die of waiting (which, apparently, was a real threat).

When we got to her house, he was so pumped to put on his backpack and walk up to the door. He walked right in, saw everyone else, turned to me, and said, "You're staying, right?" So many feels! He does this with nursery at church every week, so I knew it was coming, but for some reason, it was different with school. Luckily, his teacher was getting out lime scented play dough, and this kid loves play dough. He climbed right up on the bench, started playing, and was (I think) okay with everything. I told him I was going to go get some pretzels (he'd been begging for them for days), which he was totally okay with, and out the door I went.

Did I have to hurry to my car after shutting the door so I could have a good 5 minute cry? No! You did! Stop judging me! Gosh!

Once I calmed down, I ran to the grocery store to get those pretzels (and to do all my shopping sans-child) and that only took me like half an hour. So I puttered around the house doing chores, ran an errand to a friend's house, and then went to pick him up.

He was throwing a little bit of attitude when I showed up because the teacher wanted him to wait for her but he could see me so he was all, "No. My mom's right there." I will wait in my car next time, but also, awesome that he wasn't in tears and, apparently, did just fine until he saw me. (Also, that whole apple doesn't fall far from the tree thing is strong with this one. I am the attitude queen!) And he loved it! They played play dough, they painted, they talked about writing (I think - I'm getting all my info from a 3 year old, after all). And he's excited to go back tomorrow. Yay!

And I will get my house really clean and maybe even exercise and probably stop blubbering at drop off by Novemberish.

I mean, look at that kid! I know I'm 100% biased, but he's so stinking handsome!

First day stats for this sweetheart.

Getting that backpack clipped on so he can learn all the things.

Uhhh! He's growing up so fast! Slow down, dude!

"Mom! Take a picture with me!" Anytime, buddy!

Idahome, the detailed picture extravaganza!

Does it make you want to read this post more if I call it an extravaganza? It was. I mean, Deej and I were there for a week and a half, and a lot happened! Shall we begin?

Event 1: Lindsey and Nick get married!

I love my family, and especially my sisters, but I may make enemies here: Lindsey is hands down the prettiest bride of the 3 of us girls. 

They are so cute. And so very happy together. Nick is the best guy and we are blessed to have him join our crazy family. 

Grandbabies!

Event 2: Idaho Falls Zoo!

DJ and Harper, checking out the chimpanzees.

Faster than a Golden Eagle!

More fearsome than a sloth bear!

  

DJ got to feed, pet, and brush the goats in the petting zoo. All his 3 year old dreams came true!

Who doesn't like to ride a lion in his/her spare time?

Luckily for DJ, Uncle Danny is super tall, so seeing the actual lion was a reality rather than a pipe dream.

Did you really go to the IF zoo if you didn't drink out of the lion head drinking fountain?

Bat face paint. Because obviously!

Event 3: Hanging out with Grandpa!

The neighbors across the creek have horses. We bribed them with apples for a little toddler ride. Again, dreams come true.

Grandma insisted on getting some grandkid toys in the backyard. DJ, Grandpa, and Jet the dog thoroughly enjoyed them.

DJ's favorite swing game: have the person swinging next to you spin your swing and yell, "What is happening?" 

Big plus to visiting Grandma and Grandpa - the garden. DJ insists on visiting it every day. We picked zucchini, peas, beans, tomatoes, peppers, and a few tiny carrots. And yes, he ate that whole pepper.

Shelling peas. 

That boy was dedicated to gardening. He even found his very own garden bucket and knew where it was at all times.

Event 4: Boating!

I am not a surfer. But I am definitely willing to try anything. And if everyone else is doing it, you bet I will join in. Peer pressure is my bff.

Deg, on the other hand, is apparently a surfing pro. Got up first try and let go of the rope to ride the wave in no time. He has found his calling!

This picture is super cute. And yes, DJ is wearing a "girl" life jacket. He'll live.

He wanted to waterskii. So Grandpa helped him. Granted, they didn't go anywhere, but ask DJ and he'll tell you his Grandpa taught him to waterskii.

Event 5: Hanging with family!

We got to meet Miss Harper Maree, and DJ loves her. 

Like, really loves her.

"Mom, she thinks I'm funny!"

"Mom, she told me I'm her best friend!"

Uncle Danny needed to get a workout in, so DJ helped him with the bench press.

Only my kid would strip down to his undies randomly with the in-picture caption as his response as to why. Work it!

Sometimes, when you go to Grandma's ward, which is at 1, you fall asleep across 3 people.

Idaho, the place where you can run free and barefoot in July without turning your feet into bacon.

My mom's gym has an outdoor pool, so we got passes and went. DJ swam and jumped and frolicked for an hour and a half. And when I say swam, I mean, swam without a life jacket. He needs me for breaths, but he swims all on his own now. And he did, for an hour and a half.

Grandma was in a tennis tournament, so we went to watch her. DJ was her biggest fan.

Harper didn't really care about the tennis so much. But she was there!

I like him.

Event 6: Great Grandparents!

My Grandma Bowen turned 80, so we went to a birthday party in her honor. There were only 4 of her grandkids missing, which is amazing with a family our size. It was so great that everyone came out to support her.

I love this pic of her as a teenager. Who knew she had such sass?

We also visited my dad's parents, who the great grandkids affectionately call Grandma and Grandpa Candy. If you leave with your pockets or your heart empty, it's your own fault!

Look at that. That little boy knows he is loved.

If there's anyone in this life who has taught me about loving others and laughing as a necessary daily practice, it's my grandma Maurine.

Event 7: Funland!

Yes, we went to the rinky dink amusement park in Idaho Falls. We needed something to do, and when you're 3, this is right up your alley.

Airplane captain

For some reason, he was terrified of the merry go round and would only ride it if I went with him and held his hand. Did I mention that we were the only patrons? It was awesome.

 

The octopus. It looks way more fun that it actually is. We both hated it!

The Ferris wheel was probably the favorite though. I've never really liked them before, but a small one with my babe? Loved it. I kind of like hanging out with him.