Weird Things I Do as a Parent log entry

Those of you who are parents will agree with the following statement: as a parent, I do things I never thought were part of "parenting." Those of you who aren't parents, you should keep this in mind should you ever become a parent. It's true. You do and say all sorts of things that seem, well, weird. For example, the other day, I had to tell The Deej, "No, we don't cook Superman." Earlier this month, I had to tell him to quit licking the dishwasher. But I now have a story to top all stories, and trust me, you will be amazed at the latest entry in my Weird Things I Do as a Parent log.

Lately, I've been swimming during DJ's nap time, as Plantar Fasciitis is keeping me from running. Yesterday, after I'd finished my workout, I gathered my things, walked inside, and heard DJ crying upstairs, "Mommy! I hold you! Moooommmmyyyyy!" "Weird," I thought. "I didn't hear him on the monitor." However, this didn't totally weird me out because he often gets out of his bed and walks into my room to find me, so I assumed he'd woken up, walked into my room to find me, and then realized I wasn't there, and in his tired state, had gotten upset. So up the stairs I went to go get him.

As I ascended the stairs, I realized that he was crying really hard, which is weird for him. And then I realized my bedroom door was closed. "Oh," I thought. "In his sleepy state, he's shut the door (like he does all the time) and can't figure out that if he opens it, he can get out of there." So I reach the door, try the door handle, and... he had flipped the toggle on the doorknob and locked himself in my room.

Now, several doors in our house have locks on them, but most of them have that slit in the handle that you can use a butter knife in to turn the lock from the outside. The only exception is our bedroom door, which needs a key to open. A key, by the way, we have never had since moving into the house, and which we have talked about replacing but just never got around to doing. So, here we are, him stuck in my room, me in the hallway in a dripping swimsuit, and no clear way out of the situation.

I tried a bobby pin. I tried a screwdriver. I tried Googling how to open one of these locks. Nothing worked, and the hysterics from both sides of the door were escalating. What's a mom to do? Kick the door in, obviously.

I kicked a giant hole in under the doorknob so I could reach through and unlock the door. DJ quit crying as soon as he saw my foot fly through the door, and was amazed when my hand come through next. As soon as he saw me, he excitedly exclaimed, "Mommy! Kick door!" Yes, son. Yes I did. And I'm sure now we will have to have lots of conversations about not kicking doors unless it's an emergency. Like, if you get locked in a room and are too little to figure out how to unlock the door, Mom has permission to kick the door, and that would count as a door kicking emergency.

I usually don't swear in writing, but I think I can make an exception for this story. This momma is a badass. And I totally have the best Weird Things I Do as a Parent story ever.

Side note: anyone know how to replace a door?