An Ode to My Future Posterity

When I am old, please make sure I have all of my teeth.

They can be fake, but I want them all there, affixed permanently to my jaw.

When I am old, please make sure I don't stink.

You know that old person smell? Douse me in perfume or chocolate or something.

When I am old, please dress me in leopard print.

If I have to be old, I can at least be sassy and ridiculous along the way.

When I am old, please bedazzle my walker and my wheelchair.

Everything is better with a bit of glitz, and I plan on being fashionable.

When I am old, please make sure I get to eat real food.

I'm old. I don't care about calories. Pass the damn cheesecake!

When I am old, please surround me with beautiful things.

I want beautiful music, paintings, furniture, decor. I will have lived long enough to deserve that.

When I am old, please make sure I still laugh.

There's no point in being around if nothing's funny anymore.

When I am old, please let me see the outside world.

It's better out there because it's what God made out there.

When I am old, please let me be with my old peeps.

I'd like to spend time with Deg while I can. When he's gone, I'd like to re-Cadence myself.

When I am old, please don't leave me alone.

I plan on spending my life with my family - my whole life.

When I am old, please take me to church.

I'm not going to stop loving God because my hinges don't bend. Let me worship.

And when I do go, please let me go.

I plan on being in a good place, and I plan on meeting you there, so let me get there so I can prepare it for you.