Some thoughts on trials

I've been thinking about trials lately. It's probably because, as a human being, I deal with trials. I don't know that anyone has ever lived a trial-free life, even though sometimes, amidst my trials, I think everyone else is trial free. Because of these trials, we are brought closer to our true selves and we are faced with a choice: trust God or blame Him. And you know what? Even though I go to church every week, even though I pray and read my scriptures every day, even though I have a firm belief in His divine love for me, sometimes I think, "What the heck are you doing? This is obviously not supposed to be happening to me! You should know that!" And, while a part of me knows what a dumb statement that is, a part of me still gets mad and shakes my fist angrily in the air.

When I was in high school, I went to a young men/young women retreat for our ward that my dad has been putting on for, well, forever called Discovery. If any of you have been, you'll know how great an experience that is. Well, the year I went, my mom gave the opening talk. Her topic: paradigms. When you use paradigm as a verb, it means, "A set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality for the community that shares them, especially in an intellectual discipline." (whole definition here) In Jessica English, it's summarized as the way we view the world. My mom used a really cool illustration to show what a paradigm is. She had three pictures. One was a close-up of a shoe. The second was a shoe next to a fountain in a park, surrounded by trees. The third was the park from a bird's-eye view. Each was the same picture, just through different perspectives. Now that's a lot to think about: how many times am I so focused on the shoe that I can't see the whole park, where the shoe really doesn't matter?

Life has, as I'm sure is standard for most people, thrown me several curveballs. Am I where I wanted to be from the perspective of 5, 10 15, or 20 year old me? But looking back at where 5, 10, 15, and 20 year old me wanted to be, is that still what I want? But it's so hard to look at that and think, "Well, I'm sure glad life gave me lemons - sure hope there's more lemons where that came from!" I mean, I'm a big fan of lemonade, but I'm a big fan of someone handing me a cup of it rather than making it myself.

So what does grown-up me do about my trials? Where do I turn when I run out of belief that it'll all be okay and that everything is happening for the best and for a reason? Well, sometimes, there's weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Sometimes, there's a lot of crafting and quilting. Sometimes, my napping increases exponentially. And sometimes, if I can get my head screwed on straight, I look to both ancient and modern prophets to give me ideas and strength.

Since I'm assuming that I'm not the only one with trials in life, I'd like to share a few of those prophetic helps with you.

• Mountains to Climb by Elder Henry B. Eyring
• What can we do when hard things happen to us? by Elder Robert D. Hales 
• The Book of Job from the Old Testament
• Joseph Smith's sojourn in Liberty Jail from the 121st section of the Doctrine and Covenants
• Nephi's lament for his brethren from the 4th chapter of the 2nd book of Nephi
• Christ's atonement in Gethsemane from the Book of Mark in the New Testament

Is life easy? No. Is there a point? Yes. Do I need to strive harder to remember that? Yeah, but I'm pretty sure that's a life goal for all of us.

Where do you turn for comfort from trials?