in lieu of anything else to talk about

I feel like I have nothing to say lately. Or at least nothing nice (let's be honest, it's easy to find something snarky to say at any point in time), and as my mom would say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So because I feel the need to say something, I have turned to my old friend, the imagination prompt generator. It's a pretty sweet journaling tool. Feel free to check it out. Regardless, thanks to IPG, here's what I'm going to write about today:

What are your limitations, and are they self-imposed?

Where do I start!?! Just kidding. I have lots of limitations. We all do. Because we're human. And it turns out that's normal.And for me, when others admit their limitations, it makes me feel way better about having limitations of my own. Does that make sense? Anyway, on to the list of limitations! (Huzzah!)

• I do not get along well with numbers. I'm serious when I say I can't add or subtract. Don't even get me started on higher math. Is it sad that to do 3 plus 7 I have to use my fingers? I mean, that's under 10 - I should be able to do that in my head, right? Well, I sure wish I could. Sometimes my mind even interprets numbers wrong. I'll see one number and my brain will tell me it's another and you can't convince me otherwise. You know, I probably should get tested for some form of numerical dyslexia. It's bad. And embarrassing. But again, I am not perfect, so there you go.
• I need an inordinate amount of sleep. Seriously. I read once that you should test yourself for sleep needed this way: go to bed at the same time every night for a week. Wake up when you wake up. Take the average, and voila. Well... I'm looking at 10-12 hours if I do that. Not even kidding. If I let myself, I'd sleep my life away. And though I can function on 5 hours of sleep, my body forces me into 2 hour long naps, after which I could probably still sleep a good 8 hour night without interruption. 
• I am scared of failure. Like, to the point where there are things I won't even think about doing because I don't want to fail. I hold myself back all the time for fear of failure. And when I think I'm failing at something, I'm bound to up and quit like there's no tomorrow. It feels awful to fail because I'm letting myself down and (at least I think) I'm letting everyone else down, too.
• I feel smaller than I am. I tend to think of myself as incapable of a lot of things due to age. But when I look at people who are doing things and look at their ages, I realize that either I'm way off track with my judgments of myself, or I'm beyond super immature. I guess I still think I'm 18 and I'm not old enough to know or to do certain things with my life. And when I try to do those things, I feel like a big fake. Like, look who's playing house.
• I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. There. I said it. There's so much that sounds fun and enjoyable and fulfilling, but so out of reach. Like owning my own bakery. Too expensive. Or writing a novel. I have no idea what I'd write about. I feel like I'm always in this place where just around the corner is my life, but I don't have the map to get me to the other side of the corner. And that feels "awesome" and all...

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of great things about me. I'm a great friend, and I'm really nice, and I'm dedicated to the things I do and the things I believe in. But I do have my limitations. And now I can sigh because I have them out in the open. There's something about airing your dark side that's liberating and that makes it a little more tackle-able.