This is why I'm never reproducing

Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
And my students are so (ahem) "delightful"...

• One of my kids can't spell her own name. It's a three letter name, and she keeps adding an extra vowel at the end. When I ask her why, she says she just can't remember how to spell her own name.
• One of my students pulled both his arms in his shirt and then just stuck his little hands out of his short sleeves. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "I have a big head and little arms!" (Name that movie for 10 extra points)
• We've been doing timed writing this week. One of the lovelies wrote one sentence in ten minutes. When I asked him about it, he said, "I thought that's what we were supposed to be doing!" When I asked him why I would have given them 10 minutes to write one sentence, he replied, "Uh... cause some people are slow?"
• I passed out a worksheet and we worked on part of it as a class and then they had to finish it on their own. At the end of an allotment of time, I told them to hand in their work. Suddenly, one of my lovelies panics, raises his hand, and asks, "Wait, so we were supposed to do that worksheet?"
• There was an empty desk in the hallway from someone making up a test. So what do the kids do with it? Use it as a hurdle. And what do they do when I get mad at them and send them to the office? "What? What did we do? We didn't even do anything!"

There's more, of course, but I've got to move on or I'll never finish this entry...