Arrrgh!

Remember that personal trainer I told you about? Yeah. That's going wonderfully. Let me chronicle the journey for you:

* Joined the gym in mid March and signed up to meet with said trainer once a week for six months. That oughtta get some results right?
* Tried several different routines and fitness workouts with him, the only result being I went UP three pounds. Glorious.
* Tried several different diet plans, including a nearly all protein and no chocolate/ice cream diet with no results.
* Come home so sore every Monday after our meeting that C and Deg had to scrape me off the couch in order to do anything, include eat (which may be my favorite hobby).
* Last week, he stood me up. Fab. Just as I was going to tell him "enough is enough."
* We reschedule for today, and he stands me up again. REALLY!?!
* Call the manager, who tells me if I quit now (note my contract is up in like a week and a half) I have to pay a $150 cancellation fee. He also tells me I should have contacted him earlier about not getting results. Because it's MY job to run his gym?
* Trainer calls and leaves a message (no way I'm answering his phone calls now) and says he thought we were meeting at 5 (I've got the text on my phone right now that says 2) and he's so sorry. Well, buster, sorry doesn't cut it!

Soooo... my options, according to Mr. Manager are: 1. Pay the fee, 2. Train by myself for a week and a half, 3. Get a new trainer for a week and a half. What about the previous two weeks I've been stood up for? What about reimbursement for that? Well, that's the next phone call Mr. Manager and I are having. My heavens, has no one heard of customer service?